Thursday, September 20, 2012


Watching someone transpose thoughts from your head onto a computer screen is an eerie experience.  

It’s like that part in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, when Coriarkin (the magician on the Dufflepuds’ island), asks Drinian (the first mate), to describe their voyage thus far.  As Drinian talks, the whole journey appears as a detailed map on a parchment in front of them, full color and almost 3D.  

That’s how I felt today, watching this extremely clever music producer who's recording this album for me type out song after song in Sibelius (a program for producing sheet music) - it was like watching the invisible music in my head appear in ink on paper as I thought it.  For him, it was just all in a days’ work; for me, it was magic!  

Sunday, September 9, 2012

for all moms (present or future) out there... if you read one thing today: this.

It's from Sally Clarkson at I Take Joy.  I nearly cried.  Partly from how true her words are, and partly from the keen stinging sense of conviction that flooded over me, since my attitudes and actions the past few days have been the exact opposite of what she writes...

Here's a taste:

“One day, during some heavy, depleting financial issues in our family’s life, I decided to get up before everyone else. I made homemade pecan-apple pancakes, lit candles, put on soothing instrumental music, and had a lovely table set when the kids and Clay arose. We all enjoyed the breakfast surprise together. After we finished, Sarah was sitting next to me on the couch. She kissed my cheek and said, ‘You know, Mom, when you act happy and bring joy to our life, I feel secure and that all is well. But when you are upset and down, I feel guilty, like we have done something wrong and it makes me feel like brooding. Thanks for making the effort. I feel happy this morning.’

Go read the rest of it.  You'll be glad you did.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

stream of consciousness...

How do you get started writing again when everything that was the background for the last post has changed?  Well, everything except the people in my life - and the two little boys I love are still clattering cars and diggers around on the floor, even though it's now in New Zealand instead of Kazakhstan.

Coming up on two weeks back in New Zealand, all fighting nasty cough-cold viruses, me feeling like I'm about to pop with this baby and with the added stresses of a transition next week into our semi-permanent home for 3 months, as well as the anticipated start of creating this album of songs... the thought of which is making me feel crazier and crazier every time it flits uncomfortably through my mind...  It's difficult to know how to put all this into words, which is why I haven't made an appearance in this space for the last month or so.

And here's Will for help with his car, and here's my mother-in-law home from an afternoon outing with some relatives in tow, and my quiet window of time has melted away... so this is all for now... more on my internal state soon...