Wednesday, June 20, 2012

am I beautiful, really?

I have a blanket that says “Beautiful” on it in English (a not-so-rare find at our local bazar - English letters and words are trendy here the same way Chinese characters were trendy in the West, even if no one knows what they mean!).  The blanket itself is not truly beautiful, but it’s the perfect naptime weight.  And when I lay down to rest every afternoon and wrap myself in it, I catch glimpses of that curlique script - scraps of the word that reminds me of this truth: to God, I am beautiful.  

I don’t feel very beautiful these days.  I’m having our third baby in about 4 months’ time, and I’ve already gained 20 pounds past my normal weight.  Lately I’ve been feeling fat, sluggish, and surrounded by heaps of things to do that I don’t have energy for.  I need to exercise; I need to hunt for low-fat snacks; I need to think positively; I need the truth of Scripture.  
That I am beautiful to God, even when I don’t feel it… (Song of Sol. 4:7)
That He takes great delight in me, even when I can’t believe it… (Zeph. 3:17)
That His purposes for me are perfect and good, even when I feel overwhelmed… (Jer. 29:11)

That I am wonderfully made… and so is this baby He is knitting in my womb.  (Ps. 139:14)
And when I wrap myself in my “Beautiful” blanket, and cradle my baby while I rest, I want my thoughts to dwell in green pastures and quiet waters, and on these words from Isaiah 40:11...
11 He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.

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{If you have a minute, check out this related post from this wonderful, creative mom… Like her Connor, Will brings me “beautiful” rocks all the time too!}


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